i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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