RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
