Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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