READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
