Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it because I queefed?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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