I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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