I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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