hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
