broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
