According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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