oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize