Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
