You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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