My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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