my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize