she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
