all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
