Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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