just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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