it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
