Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
