I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Randomize
