they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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