is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
