i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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