I need to stop coming to work sober
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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