4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
