Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize