OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
