Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
now i know why i became what i already was.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Watching her eat just hurts me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
