Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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