I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
