So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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