How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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