pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize