And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
