so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize