as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize