Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
