i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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