I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
