Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
