If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
