Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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