You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When are your genitals available?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
