you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
