your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
