i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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