Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
