you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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