my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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