Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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