Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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