it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
