i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize