dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize