at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
