I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
