I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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