Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
