I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
