Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
