i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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