Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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