They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
