I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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