I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
